Dearest Canadian Possums,
How I envy you your wonderful Canadian winter. Oh, if only I could be there right now. There’s nothing more life-affirming and bracing as a walk in minus 40 degree Celsius weather. Perhaps seeing a moose, a beaver, or better still, a Mountie! The joy! The pleasure!
Instead I am stuck in summertime Australia with it’s scrumptious food, boring and never ending-sunshine and superlative standard of living. But I always come to Canada to chill out – in more ways than one. The Queen told me it’s one of her favorite Dominions.
But not to worry, I shall be with you soon from April 9th – 19th.
Which is why I am writing to you.
After considerable thought and consultation with my Canadian presenters, the lovely Mirvish family, I have decided to move venues.
I will no longer be performing at the Royal Alexandra Theatre. Instead, I will take my spectacular, and seminal farewell offering up the street to the beautiful, and appropriately royal Princess of Wales Theatre.
This theatre affords me more room to entertain more of my Canadian possums, and yet preserving our precious intimacy. The Princess of Wales has 500 more seats than the Royal Alexandra, so I can now accommodate more of you due to popular demand.
Those special and very intelligent possums who have already purchased tickets, I have instructed the people of TicketKing to make sure they have the comparable seats to those they had purchased at the Royal Alexandra.
And if you would like to bring more people with you, this is the best time to do so, before all the available seats are snapped up by all the other Canadian beavers. Don’t forget to mention that you’re a friend of mine, or my sensitive son Kenny.
Yours,
Dame Edna Everage
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